Observations about stigmatization in teenagers

Before creating this blog, I spent hours and hours thinking about what other people in my high school, including the people I saw closest to myself, think. Regardless of what I saw in movies; the older mentor telling the younger mentee that’s getting bullied “Who cares what they think? You’re special.” or “They’re not at your level.” or “They’re simply insecure.” or countless other cliche yet correct lines; I couldn’t get myself to believe them. Even though I knew that I didn’t owe anyone, especially the people who would be judging me, an explanation or a justification for creating a platform to talk about matters important to me, I felt as though I did. I began to feel, after a while, that high school was simply a place in which everyone was intimidated just enough to create a primal instinct in them to conform to society, to conform to the herd at their slightest doubt of themselves, but protected from intimidation (i.e. bullying) just enough so that they wouldn’t internalize it and spiral into patterns of depression and/or anxiety (and I have to say, the protection seems to have been ultimately unsuccessful in some (most), cases.)

One form of bullying which may seem rather passive, but plays quite an active role in the deterioration of one’s mental health, as well as their loss of willpower, is stigmatization. I’m going to address stigmatization through a recent real life example, one which all of you will know about: the creation of this blog. Although I haven’t individually experienced bullying in the form of stigmatization (which leads me to ask, “what would have happened if I had?” but that’s a blog post for another time) I still felt anxiety about creating and publishing this blog. The stigma and the notion of “lameness” surrounding pursuing things you love with great passion is one of the fundamental issues of being a teenager. Teenagers, regardless of whether they say they don’t care about being labeled “lame”, unintentionally do. We humans are social animals, which means we’re driven by group membership; there’s even a theory proposed by Tajfel and Turner (well-renowned social psychologists) called the “Social Identity Theory”, which proposes that we form our identity on the basis of group membership. Therefore, it’s only natural to not want to be ostracized, to care about being included, whether that be in groups we like or don’t like. So, teenagers tend to not pursue things they’re passionate about, because it’s “lame” to do so; it’s lame to be so passionate about something that you’re dedicating time you could spend partying or hanging out with your friends towards building a project. I know it seems incredibly silly, and I know there are some cases in which this doesn’t apply (thankfully), and I know it seems to be a devastating loss of a teenager’s fresh mind and intellect and passion, but it’s unfortunately true, and heartbreaking.

So how could we possibly solve it? As the name of my blog suggests, I make observations. And although these observations have no factual confirmation to them, I do have two possible solutions, if you’re willing to rely on qualitative data. One is to simply stop caring and keep doing it anyway. As I previously said, we’re social animals and therefore this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I don’t mean it in the sense of completely cutting ties with everyone who thinks it’s “lame” to be pursuing your passion (although that is the personal course of action I would’ve taken); it’s possible to still be friends with such people, and perhaps even show to them the beauty and dedication that comes with being committed to a passion project, thus minimizing or destroying their stigmas. It’s not necessarily their fault for having these thoughts, they may be coming from deep-rooted issues regarding their family, early childhood or more, and so you can keep an open mind and show them (they should still be held accountable, of course, but it may be bigger than themselves). However, it’s not your responsibility to prove, and so it’s completely up to you. So in summation, according to my observations, not caring and pushing through is one solution that works if you truly stand your ground and stay confident. And the second solution is to stop caring and keep doing it anyway. 🙂 (is that a cringe thing to say?)

I could give you alternative solutions, but it all boils down to completely blocking out judgmental people and pushing through it. I can assure you that in the end, regardless of whether you’ve come where you’ve wanted or whether you’ve ended up in a completely different place, you’ll be glad that people whom you never spoke to again after graduating high school didn’t influence such a decision.

To all my fellow teenagers who are experiencing some form of bullying and/or being kept from pursuing their passions: I urge you to do it anyway. I promise you, getting out of your comfort zone and doing the exact opposite of what the bullies (essentially, the people who think they don’t have it in themselves to pursue a passion and are therefore reflecting this insecurity onto other people by making fun of them for doing the exact same thing they wish they could do) want you to do is the best thing you can do for yourself.